Instant Messaging on a Dating Site

I was recently invited to do this new-fangled instant messaging thing on Plenty of Fish. My response, upon seeing that coveted little self-worth boosting pop-up box was an immediate and enthusiastic “yes”.

The conversation was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Admittedly I have very low expectations of this site.

He asked me how I was. I asked him how he was.

He asked me for my name. I asked him for his.

He asked me if I was busty. I asked him for his penis size.

Wait. What?

Ok, that last part didn’t happen. At least not all of it. He did ask me if I was “busty”. To which I replied “bangin’ eee’s”.

He then asked the pertinent follow up, “Wait, are those bigger than dd’s?”

It was then I felt the need to burst his boob-shaped bubble: “I’m just fucking with you dude. I’ve no inclination to discuss my chest size. Peace out.”

I’d insert the obvious “and this is why I’m single” statement here except that I feel that at least some of the blame lies with the douche dude this time. I mean, come on!

Public Service Announcement: I am not a mutant. I categorically deny the allegations that I have “bangin’ eee” breasticles.

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7 thoughts on “Instant Messaging on a Dating Site

  1. I just got pissed off at the dating sites – so after being single for enough times that my friend had fallen in and out of a relationship twice. I decided to risk my life and limb and post on craigslist for a date…I laid it all out on the line – and even included the most revealing yet hideous picture of myself (yep, me in a bathing suit after a 8 hour canoe trip). I got some real winners replying back – but actually found someone. Three months later – he has still yet to murder me and wear my skin suit. So, for an interesting blog post – I think you should try it.

    • Challenge accepted! I have a friend that posted an add on Craigslist and she got a response from a guy 30 years her senior (so 50ish) that wanted to spend quality time with her wearing a school girl outfit and him teaching her the delicate (and not-so-delicate) art of seduction and submission. Frakking creepy. But ya, awesome blog post material 😉

      ps. congrats on your success! And successful retention of your skin.

  2. re dating post : world wide distribution would be interesting, perhaps Ireland would be productive. Especially if you thru in a few Irish words!! teehee.

    • lol I recently ignored a message from a guy who’s handle was “longnthck82”. He might as well of just called himself “smallninadequate82″… 😉

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