Let’s just assume that I purchase a sufficient amount of fruits and vegetables so as to keep the proverbial doctor (and the actual scurvy) away and move on to the good stuff, mmmk?
I was in M&M Meats the other day picking up some chicken nuggets because sometimes (most of the time) I don’t want to cook and I’d rather throw some frozen substance claiming to be a lean meat covered in delectable fried fats in the oven than pick up fast food that disgruntled strangers and self-entitled weenie teenagers have had the opportunity to perform unspeakable horrors on. Well, wouldn’t you know it? M&M has a dessert section! And in that dessert section, they have Christmas desserts!
Tell me something is only available for a limited time and I MUST HAVE IT! Not so much because I want it right that second, but because I might want it in the future and what if it’s not available when I do want it? Perish the thought, right?
I got myself a box of nanaimo bars, rationalizing that I wouldn’t be purchasing any other Christmas goodies. No Pot of Gold, no After Eight, none of that other stuff that people tend to purchase and leave on their coffee tables to force feed to the inevitable Christmas guests they will be required by social convention to entertain during this, the season of giving. I was about to pay but then I saw it, peanut butter chocolate cake (or something like that, either way it’s peanut butter and chocolate, you know I had no choice!) and, telling myself that I’d share these desserts with family and friends (HAHAHAHAHAHA), I bought it.
I get home and put my new purchases away in the freezer which is now, for the first time in months, half full. WOOOO!!! Don’t care that it’s half full with chicken nuggets, fries, desserts and bacon (the bacon was pre-existing because, and I feel quite strongly about this, no household should ever be without bacon), IT’S FREAKIN HALF FULL!
I go about my business, feeling pretty good about myself. Even go so far as to make a decent dinner that involved a legitimate form of cooking. This encompassing feeling of adultness follows me into the next day and I rock along at work being all productive and shit. I get home my world comes crashing down. My landlord presents me with four boxes of Christmas goodies that I ordered to support her fundraiser.
WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!
Not only have I blown my grocery budget but now I have a freezer FULL of junk food.
How the hell did I forget I ordered two boxes of ready to bake frozen cookies and two pies?!
Adulting fail (cue sad fail “waah waaaah waaaaaaaaah” music).