I know, I know, it’s not an uncommon thing to start Christmas shopping in December. In fact, if you’re starting at the beginning of December you’re probably ahead of the game. But dammit I started thinking about Christmas shopping at the beginning of NOVEMBER!
I was all, “I’m going to get shit done early this year,” “I’m going to put thought and consideration into buying gifts and not just grab cheap crap last minute,” “I’m NOT going to wrap presents like a 6 year old on crack”.
People, I made a list of who to buy for. I checked it. Twice.
I was all set to go shopping and start purchasing gifts. I was even going to drive to Seattle on the 5th to do some foreign shopping! Unfortunately, due to scheduling conflicts and irreconcilable differences, Seattle and I divorced and I didn’t get to shop there. Next thing I know, it’s freakin’ December! WTF happened?
You know when you’re a kid and time seems to go so slowly, you have all the time in the world. You can sit and play Minesweeper on your computer all day long if you’re so inclined. Not that anyone would be. I certainly wasn’t… What?
But then, when you’re a little older, theoretically a little wiser, and suddenly there’s not enough time for anything and before you know it an entire month has passed! Silver lining though, this increased speed of time is undeniable proof that you are at least part adult. Next time someone questions your maturity you can throw it in their face that a month flew past and you did dick all. That right there is how you win an argument.
Anywho, it’s now December and things aren’t looking good. Friends, I love you, but y’all are getting gift certificates. Kindly ignore the shiny, seemingly new, toys that have suddenly appeared throughout my apartment, they’re not mine, I’m holding them for a friend. *giggles while playing with new electronic gadget*