So I went grocery shopping the other day. Well, I was out with friends and we stopped so I could pick up a few things because, as usual, I didn’t have much of anything.
At the time I thought this was a great idea. I was being responsible! I would have food! Hurray!
Get in the store.
Walk the aisles.
Go to checkout.
Stand in line to purchase grapes, 4 litres of vegetable oil and cheese croissants.
Friends look at me, “You know, it looks like you’re buying supplies to deep fry these grapes and croissants and have a lot left over.”
Me: “Pfft. Like I’d deep fry anything. That shit is dangerous to my person and so bad for you! No, the oil is for greasing up hot Greek guys and the grapes are for them to feed to me while they’re fanning me with obscenely large leaves.”
Friend: “What about the croissants?”
Me: “Those are for stamina.” 😉
Checkout Girl: *trying not to laugh*
Woman behind me in line: *Absolutely horrified and disgusted*
My job here is done.