You know, I never understood alcoholism nor why someone would want to hide at the bottom of a bottle. It’s not like your problems go away. They’re there, and likely worse, when you’re sober again (or at least less drunk). I mean, if I want to escape my problems I’m not just going to hide from them, I’m going to run the fuck away from those bastards. To a different country. Where I’l live under an assumed name. And wear shirts that say “Fuck this shit!” and “Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing.” (Alright so it’s not much different than my current life but theoretically Foreign Country Megan has less problems and spends the majority of her time on a beach.)
That said, I think I should live my life slightly buzzed.
Why, you ask? I’ll tell you why.
- I’m nicer
- It feels less like the world is crashing down around me
- I feel calmer
- It’s easier to make small talk
- I almost want to make small talk
- I care less about the judgement and censure of others
- I’m friendlier
- I have less of a filter
So, ya, I think I’ll carry a flask with me from now on and maintain just a bit of a buzz. I’m not just doing it for me, I’m doing it for the good of everyone – well, everyone that comes into contact with me.
Life advise from Megan. No one should ever follow this.
This post brought to you by the Bailey’s in my lunchtime coffee.